To Admit Something

I’m completely afraid of myself. If I’m honest. I’m afraid of what ill say, ill do, even of what ill think. Is it healthy? I imagine it makes me self reflective, the unexamined life is not worth living they say, but what about the other part? The holding my tongue when I could speak up, the second guesses, and hiding behind another’s way of doing things. Well, perhaps they’re just part of it. Like heads and tails on a gold coin. Neutral. Maybe if I trust the fear I have of myself the same way I trust myself when I’m confident, charming and energized, then something cool will happen. It’s worth a shot because it seems that self doubt and fear are hear to stay. I’d like complete self acceptance and if that means I acknowledge being scared of the person I am, was and could be then fine. Count me in. Maybe ill find peace in this decision.


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